The bloody mess of the cross...

As I sat one day wondering everything away

I sat and watched the wonder of the cross.

I seen the cross, a bloody mess.

When I look to the cross, I see it empty,

But when I seen the cross,

today...

it was

different.

I look to the cross as an empty place,

But today what I seen

In amongst the bloody and tears

Was something strange.

Today the cross had many bags

Hanging off the wood

Open boxes sitting at the foot of the cross

I asked the Lord

What does this mean?

Lord, what do you want me to do?

Gently, he took me by the hand

Lord, where are we going?

His reply was nothing short of

beauty.

The day I died for you,

I took your all the baggage and

the boxes

filled with hurt.

I opened them up,

took out the pain.

But, Lord, did you leave the boxes empty I cried!

No, no my child.

I filled them with peace.

The bloody mess that I became?

It was so that you don't need to any more.

I sat one day wondering everything away

Gazing at the wonder of the cross.

That bloody mess, no longer empty.

That day I set down one more box.

Left it at the foot of the cross.

God is in control of the tide

Yesterday, I went to my thinking spot... It's been a long time since I've been, because of painful memories, because of difficult times, I have decided not to go down. 


Yesterday, I decided to go back, to see if I could meet with God in a quiet place. 


I believe that my God will never fail to turn up and meet me where I'm at, whether that is in church with my Christian family, driving my car, or if it is on a rock beside the sea (my thinking spot). 


I was right, my God, the God of the bible - the one who made the heavens and the earth, he showed up just as I had hoped.


The tide was rough yesterday, the winds were harsh and the day was just pure bleak. I think it almost resembled my mood for the best part of the day. 


I was listening to Matt Redman during the drive up to the thinking spot, "Lord, Let your glory fall". This song declares about God: "You are good, you are good and your love endures, today..." It couldn't have been a more fitting song for the time of reflection. 


As I sat there, reflecting upon the day to come and what had already been, I felt a sense of calm amidst the storm of life.


The tide, as I said was fierce, but something said God is in control. He is in control of the sea, even when it seems that it is wildly out of control. The same can then be said of life, God is totally in control of life. He is the same today, yesterday and tomorrow. When he makes a promise to hold you, in the midst of the storm, he will. 

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8: 38, 39) [NLT]

My prayer is that as you read this, you may be reminded that no matter how difficult the circumstance in life is, God, the maker of the heavens and the earth, the one who calmed a storm... Yes, He is in control. 

Numb

My arm is numb, my heart is numb. 
I've felt so daft, almost dumb. 
My tear stained face tells a pain filled story. 
My God is seeking his glory.
Temptation is high, reaching higher than the sky, yet all I want to do is cry. 


I can't bare for the world to see me like this...
I swear, I'm falling slowly into the abyss. 
Don't look at me when I cry. 
I'm holding on, not ready to die. 


Where have I gone? Is this real?
In these moments, I was never the one with a FAIL. 
Where have I gone? Where did I go? 
All this time... all this time, I wonder, did I bring this onto myself
all those years ago? 


My arm is numb, my heart is more numb. 
I felt so daft, truly dumb.
My tear stained face screams a pain filled story.
From MY story, is God really getting his glory?
Temptation is high, reaching higher than the sky,
yet all I can do is cry. 


Please don't look at me when I cry, 
I'm holding on, not ready to die. 
Coming to the end of this year, 
What I ask for are tears of hope, not tears of fear.