Thursday, December 15, 2011

God is in control of the tide

Yesterday, I went to my thinking spot... It's been a long time since I've been, because of painful memories, because of difficult times, I have decided not to go down. 


Yesterday, I decided to go back, to see if I could meet with God in a quiet place. 


I believe that my God will never fail to turn up and meet me where I'm at, whether that is in church with my Christian family, driving my car, or if it is on a rock beside the sea (my thinking spot). 


I was right, my God, the God of the bible - the one who made the heavens and the earth, he showed up just as I had hoped.


The tide was rough yesterday, the winds were harsh and the day was just pure bleak. I think it almost resembled my mood for the best part of the day. 


I was listening to Matt Redman during the drive up to the thinking spot, "Lord, Let your glory fall". This song declares about God: "You are good, you are good and your love endures, today..." It couldn't have been a more fitting song for the time of reflection. 


As I sat there, reflecting upon the day to come and what had already been, I felt a sense of calm amidst the storm of life.


The tide, as I said was fierce, but something said God is in control. He is in control of the sea, even when it seems that it is wildly out of control. The same can then be said of life, God is totally in control of life. He is the same today, yesterday and tomorrow. When he makes a promise to hold you, in the midst of the storm, he will. 


And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8: 38, 39) [NLT]
My prayer is that as you read this, you may be reminded that no matter how difficult the circumstance in life is, God, the maker of the heavens and the earth, the one who calmed a storm... Yes, He is in control. 



Friday, September 16, 2011

Ethical Coffee, Ethical Church?

In this I wish to address some heart issues, some deep ponderings of a human soul. I may offend, I may cause debates and there is even the possibility that some may consider me to be less of a person for addressing these issues. However, I feel that it is best to stand firm on what I believe and to allow space for healthy discussion surrounding the topic of human sexuality and around what some will consider the "gender issue"... 

I do not claim to know everything, I do not claim to be totally right in what I may say, as I know making such claims as these in the post-modern world is a very dangerous thing indeed. 

I begin this blog with a pondering heart, do we choose our coffee house because of the "brand" name, such as Starbucks or Clements because these are cool places for hanging out, or is there a deeper reason to choose a coffee shop? Today, I sit in one coffee house, but have also been to two very contrasting places for coffee and it's only just coming up to 13:30 as I write this. At the beginning of this week, I was asked where I would most likely go for my caffeine fix. It genuinely took me a moment to think of the heart answer and not just the first thing that came to mind... I concluded that I would go to one particular place rather than the others which were on offer, this came after much deliberation over the various coffee houses that were out forward or suggestion. 

Why the place that I chose? I concluded that they serve the more ethical coffee than other places in the list of options. This being said, I am not writing to big up one particular place over another, but rather, to think deeper about what my coffee can say about church and why I subscribe to a particular denomination over another and how my personal beliefs and ethics have been shaped over the years. 

It took me a brief moment to decide where I would spend my hard earned cash on my daily caffeine fix, however when it comes down to the bigger decisions in life, such as where I attend corporate worship, I feel that this may take more time than that. 

Currently, I attend an Anglican church, in my home town. I have been here since birth, it has been my family church growing up and I have found myself returning to this Christian family after venturing to various different places. "Why?" some may ask, but I feel that throughout the turmoil that the Anglican Commune has experienced in relation to gender issues and questions of human sexuality, one thing has stood firm within my own parish. Their love of God; through Christ Jesus and His finished work on the cross. And how this then impacts upon how they seek to serve their wider community. 

There may be various opinions and debates surrounding gender issues within a church context, but I feel that it is time that I joined in the conversation and truly nailed my colours to the mast if it where. 

From my understanding of scripture, and correct me if I am wrong, those who struggle with same gender attraction (LGBT to the world) are no less a person than any other person in a community. There is in no way that I can sit back and allow for this type of conversation to take place without allowing for other schools of thought to be interjected. I do firmly believe that the PRACTICE of homosexuality within a Christian context is wrong. However, ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3). I do not see in this verse that it says "homosexuals alone have fallen short..."! It breaks my heart to have friends who feel that they can no longer attend corporate worship without the judgement which can be placed upon them for their belief system. 

I believe that we serve a loving God, a God of compassion and a God moreover who actually came down to this dirty earth to get stuck in and be in relationship with His people. I also believe that if Jesus walked this earth today, he would be hanging out in gay bars, in the pubs and clubs that scatter our city. 

How dare I make such a statement I hear you all cry out! Is that not the same cry from the Pharisees and the other chief priests of the time that Jesus walked this earth in the first place? He walks with sinners they whispered, look at him, he hangs out with prostitutes and tax collectors... etc etc etc! 

Heck, I believe that if Jesus was walking about here and now, HE WOULD NOT BE IN OUR CHURCHES! That's not what he's about. He would be getting stuck in and hanging out with those whom society consider to be the worst of the worst - yes, that includes gay people that seem to come under so much condemnation. 

Show me, I ask; where it says that everyone except a gay person can come to Christ. Show me, where does it say that anyone BUT a gay person can serve? 

Better still; show me how a celibate homosexual civil partnership is to be condemned. Should a non-practicing Christian gay couple be denied the same legal protection as a heterosexual couple? 

I finish this blog with a sad and heavy heart, but with hope of a better future for those who struggle with same gender attraction. I also propose the question to anyone who reads this, is your Jesus the Jesus who enters the gay bars, the pubs and clubs of our city, or is the Jesus that you serve bound up within a church building with no escape into the community that He first came to reach, serve and save? 


Monday, August 1, 2011

Where is the love?

In 2003, the Black Eyed Peas asked us, "Where is the love?". A catchy tune, an interesting video of fly posting. Is that all that this is, or is there something more to their question? I thought it was fascinating to see pop culture asking us to think about something so profound. So real and something that each person in their deepest questioning can ask... 
The lines that really, really stand out for me when I hear this song are: 


People killin', people dyin' Children hurt and you hear them cryin' Can you practice what you preach And would you turn the other cheek  
Father, Father, Father help us Send us some guidance from above 'Cause people got me, got me questionin' Where is the love?


So far this year, we have had so many horrific attacks globally, the most recent being the Norway shooting. One could ask:  Where is the love?


Closer to home, I have a friend who was beaten up in town simply because he is gay. Again, Where is the love


Indeed, where is the love? Where has this wonderful love that we as Christians have been shown vanished off to? How are Christians, who are to be the body of Christ, the light in a darkened world. As Paul even wrote in Philippians that [Christians] are to "shine among them like stars in the sky". 


See that? SHINE like STARS... Not hide away like cowards or something. 


What is it that we have got to shine about, what is this love that WE so called believers are to be sharing with the world? (I include myself in this 'so called believer' bracket...) 


This love that we have, it is not a regular, run of the mill ordinary love that we can just take or leave... 


It is the most powerful, redeeming love that can be seen. 


We love, because He [God] first loved us. That is the love that we have! 


That is the love that we have got to shout about.... 


This love, sent Jesus Christ to the cross to die in our place... WHILE we were still sinners. If that isn't love, I don't know what is. 


So then, what impact should this love have on our churches, on our 
communities, on our families, on every single relationship that we have? 



Friday, July 15, 2011

So, here we are again.

We are sitting up late staring at a blank computer screan wondering where has the day been?

Where have I placed my thoughts and feelings in this day? What has happened that has brought me here to this place of wondering now, at this time?

The day started off so filled with promise, so filled with hope yet then I steped into the equation, I steped in and said NO, I want it my way today... It may have been a consious choice, it may have been that subconsious choice, it may have even been the one that we don't even realise we are doing until it gets to sitting up late at night, staring at a blank computer screan.

So many times I try to place my thoughts and feelings in your care, so many times I try and try. However, the more I try the more I fail. - It's like the more I try to please the worse I become...

How can it be that so many times I end up sitting here?

My only comfort tonight is that I know I am not alone, tonight is different. There is music playing in the background each night that I feel alone, but tonight is different.

Tonight I know that my God is with me in this place even when I can't work out how to place my thougthts into the right place. It's like a jigsaw with the piece missing each day, yet you oh Lord are that missing piece, the section that makes the entire picture make sense.

Beth Hart put it wonderfully in Soul Shine:
When you cant find the light That guides you through a cloudy day When the stars aint shinin' bright You feel like you've lost youre way When the candle lights of home Burn so very far away Well you got to let your Soul shine Just like my mamma used to say
She used to say soul shine It's better than sunshine It's better than moonshine Damn sure better than rain And if the people don't mind We all get this way sometimes You got to let your soul shine Shine to the break of day

Just as God promised Joshua  "I will not leave you or forsake you." (Joshua 1:5 ESV), that promse still rings true in our lives today, as the writer to the hebrews reminds us clearly of God's promise: “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5 ESV)

With this in mind, those who are trusting in God can turn back each day even if the day has begun out with a firm NO from us.

Praise shall rise as my heart will continue to say:
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,      my salvation and my God. My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan and of Hermon, from Mount Mizar. (Psalm 42:5-6 ESV)

Theater of Dreams

Written on 14 April 2011


We're trained to be 'happy' to put on a show. Trained to be friendly, put on a show. I'll put on the theatre mask & pretend like I mean it... Perhaps I'll start to even believe it... 

I'll abduct her later and we'll wear our masks of the theatre & perform in the dance of which we call 'life' 

It shall be beautiful, it shall be poetic. The world as we know it changes tonight. We've given up on seeking the heroic. 

In my theatre of dreams, only you can feed my soul. Please don't be only in my dreams, come and make me whole. 

The days of dreaming have begun, I'm searching, dreaming to find the one. 

It shall be beautiful, it shall be poetic. The world as we know it changes tonight. Have I truly given up on seeking the heroic? 

A poem

I wrote this during a retreat on 24th March 2011:

It doesn't matter how far back in the race you start
It doesn't matter when you gave me your heart

I'm with you always and forever
Lets take it one step at a time, because,
I'm with you always and forever
Lets take it one step at a time
I promise you this, you're mine.

It doesn't matter that you've tripped or fell
This journey is ours; you're doing well
It doesn't matter that you feel you can't cope
This journey is mine, I promise you hope.

What matters now is that you give me your heart
What matters now is that I want your heart
It's broken now, but I've made a vow

I'm with you always and forever
Lets take it one step at a time, because,
I'm with you always and forever
Lets take it one step at a time,
I promise you this, you are mine.

Numb

My arm is numb, my heart is numb. 
I've felt so daft, almost dumb. 
My tear stained face tells a pain filled story. 
My God is seeking his glory.
Temptation is high, reaching higher than the sky, yet all I want to do is cry. 


I can't bare for the world to see me like this...
I swear, I'm falling slowly into the abyss. 
Don't look at me when I cry. 
I'm holding on, not ready to die. 


Where have I gone? Is this real?
In these moments, I was never the one with a FAIL. 
Where have I gone? Where did I go? 
All this time... all this time, I wonder, did I bring this onto myself
all those years ago? 


My arm is numb, my heart is more numb. 
I felt so daft, truly dumb.
My tear stained face screams a pain filled story.
From MY story, is God really getting his glory?
Temptation is high, reaching higher than the sky,
yet all I can do is cry. 


Please don't look at me when I cry, 
I'm holding on, not ready to die. 
Coming to the end of this year, 
What I ask for are tears of hope, not tears of fear.